Ever feel like you're carrying something incredibly heavy but you can't name it? Do you keep finding yourself blowing up or shutting down on the people you love, despite your best efforts and your promises to stop? In this episode, Tim sits down with Eric Blommel, a licensed psychotherapist and trauma specialist out of Colorado, longtime colleague, and dear friend, to unpack how men are carrying unprocessed trauma - and why it's costing us in record numbers through suicide, overdose, isolation, and emotional collapse. 

I trace one clean line from Stoicism to modern cognitive behavioral therapy: Zeno to Epictetus to Albert Ellis to Aaron Beck. That line is real, not a rhetorical move. Epictetus taught that men are disturbed not by things, but by their opinions about things — event, then verdict, then feeling (Epictetus, trans. 2008). Albert Ellis read that directly and built rational emotive behavior therapy on top of it, and he named Epictetus as the root when he did (Ellis, 1962). Aaron Beck formalized the cognitive model into what most clinicians now just call CBT. When I call it the most tested psychotherapy on the planet, I'm talking about the research base — no other talk therapy has as many controlled trials behind it (Robertson, 2010).

Two details I state as fact: Epictetus was born a slave, and his Discourses are lecture notes his student Arrian wrote down. Both are accurate, and both matter to the point.

Many men become known as the reliable one, the person who fixes problems, takes on extra work, and is always available when someone needs support. But constantly putting others first can leave men feeling overlooked, resentful, and alone. In this episode, Tim explores how people-pleasing often begins as a way to earn approval or avoid rejection, then follows men into adulthood where it affects their careers, friendships, and romantic relationships.