The American Masculinity Podcast is hosted by Timothy Wienecke — licensed psychotherapist, Air Force veteran, and award-winning men's advocate. Real conversations about masculinity, mental health, trauma, fatherhood, leadership, and growth. Each episode offers expert insight and practical tools to help men show up differently — as partners, fathers, friends, and leaders. No yelling. No clichés. Just grounded, thoughtful masculinity for a changing world.

Episode Summary

Many men grow up believing their value comes from strength, productivity, and the ability to push through anything. Endurance is praised. Limitation is ignored. But eventually, life confronts every man with a reality he cannot outwork or outmuscle. Injury, illness, aging, and disability force a question most men are never taught how to answer. If my ability changes, who am I then?

In this episode, host Timothy sits down with disability advocate and content creator Remy Anders. Remy brings both lived experience and years of public education on disability. After spending much of his life trying to overcome and suppress his physical and neurological conditions, his body eventually forced him to stop. What followed was a long process of grief, acceptance, and rebuilding an identity that was not dependent on constant performance.

Together, they explore how disability challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, especially for men who have tied their worth to physical ability, achievement, or status. The conversation moves through grief, identity, and the cultural silence around limitation. Remy shares his experience of being bedridden for years, the emotional toll of losing abilities he once relied on, and the deeper work of redefining value beyond productivity.

You’ll hear us break down:

Masculinity and disability: Why many men see limitation as a threat to their identity and how that belief quietly harms them over time.
Performance vs. contribution: How tying worth to achievement can drive men toward burnout, collapse, or long-term disability.
Grief and changing ability: Why losing physical capacity requires the same emotional work as any other major loss.
The nervous system and chronic stress: How constant pressure, denial, and overexertion dysregulate the body and compound health problems.
Identity beyond productivity: How men can rebuild meaning when work, performance, or strength are no longer reliable anchors.
Disabled joy and acceptance: Finding moments of meaning, connection, and purpose even when life looks different than expected.
Service as masculinity: Why being present for others, even without answers or strength, remains one of the most enduring expressions of manhood.

This episode explores a difficult but unavoidable truth. Most men will experience disability in some form during their lifetime. The question is not whether ability will change, but how men respond when it does. This conversation offers a path that moves beyond denial and collapse toward acceptance, service, and a deeper understanding of what it means to live with dignity and strength.

Guest Information

Disability advocate, educator, and content creator with over 15 years of professional experience in media and storytelling.
Creator of widely shared educational content on disability awareness, accessibility, and lived experience, reaching over 800,000 followers across online platforms.
Combines personal experience with physical and neurological disabilities with research and community learning to make disability education accessible to both disabled and non-disabled audiences.
His work and educational materials have been used in medical conferences, universities, and professional training environments to help practitioners better understand disability perspectives.
Focus areas include disability advocacy, identity and masculinity, chronic illness, nervous system regulation, grief and adaptation, and building inclusive conversations between disabled and non-disabled communities.

Note: Remy Anders appears in this interview in a personal and professional capacity. The views expressed are his own and do not represent any licensing boards, professional associations, or organizations with whom he may be affiliated.

We compared this discussion to peer-reviewed research in psychology, medicine, veteran studies, and aging. The most important confirmations and clarifications are summarized below:

1. Veterans with Disability Percentage

What was said:

“40-some-odd percent of modern-day veterans have a disability listed with the VA.”

Status: True

Detail:

The claim works well if "modern-day veterans" means post-9/11 veterans. Data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics in 2019 shows 41% of Gulf War-era II veterans had a service-connected disability. A 2023 Congressional Budget Office report found that about 40% of post-9/11 veterans got VA payments for such disabilities in 2019. For all U.S. veterans, the U.S. Census Bureau reported in 2024 that around 30% had service-connected disabilities in 2022. That is up from 15% in 2008. "Listed with the VA" means veterans with an official VA rating for their disability. These figures come from better diagnosis, faster claims processing, and wider eligibility rules, like the PACT Act. The stat backs up the episode's point that disabilities are common among veterans.

Source:

Bond, G. R., Al-Abdulmunem, M., Drake, R. E., Davis, L. L., Meyer, T., Gade, D. M., ... & Ressler, D. R. (2022). Transition from military service: Mental health and well-being among service members and veterans with service-connected disabilities. The journal of behavioral health services & research, 49(3), 282-298.

https://doi.org/10.1007/s11414-021-09778-w

Congressional Budget Office. (2023). Income of Working-Age veterans receiving disability compensation [Report].

https://www.cbo.gov/system/files/2023-12/59380-Veterans.pdf

Hoge, C. W., Auchterlonie, J. L., & Milliken, C. S. (2006). Mental health problems, use of mental health services, and attrition from military service after returning from deployment to Iraq or Afghanistan. Jama, 295(9), 1023-1032.

https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.295.9.1023

U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. (2025). EMPLOYMENT SITUATION OF VETERANS — 2024. In U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics.

https://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/vet.pdf?

U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. (2024). Annual benefits report. In VETERANS BENEFITS ADMINISTRATION (pp. 2–6).

https://www.benefits.va.gov/REPORTS/abr/docs/2024-abr.pdf

Vespa, J., & Carter, C. (2024). Trends in Veteran Disability Status and Service-Connected Disability: 2008–2022. American Community Survey Reports.

https://www2.census.gov/library/publications/2024/demo/acs-58.pdf

Why it matters for men:

This high rate of disabilities among recent veterans strengthens the case for redefining masculinity. We should embrace assessment, adaptation, and group support instead of denying risks, which can lead to breakdown. This matters especially as physical abilities change with time.

2. Risk Aversion Men vs. Women

What was said:

“Men are generally less risk-averse than women.”

Status: Largely true with important clarifications.

Detail:

Studies consistently show that men, on average, take more risks than women. This shows up in areas like finances, sports, health, driving, and career decisions. Men often feel more at ease with uncertainty and the chance of loss. Still, the differences are usually small to moderate. There is plenty of overlap between men and women; many women outpace some men in risk-taking. The gap also shifts by context and can be shaped by culture and upbringing.

Sources:

Dohmen, T., Falk, A., Huffman, D., Sunde, U., Schupp, J., & Wagner, G. G. (2011). Individual risk attitudes: Measurement, determinants, and behavioral consequences. Journal of the european economic association, 9(3), 522-550.

https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1542-4774.2011.01015.x

Filippin, A., & Crosetto, P. (2016). A reconsideration of gender differences in risk attitudes. Management Science, 62(11), 3138-3160.

https://doi.org/10.1287/mnsc.2015.2294

Why it matters for men:

This backs the episode's view of masculinity, military service, and the role of risk-taking. It also highlights the need for better preparation for life after risks, such as disability. That means embracing assessment, acceptance, and a shared redefinition of worth, rather than denial until everything falls apart.

3. Chronic Stress Impairs the Body’s Healing Processes

What was said:

“Your body's always doing some kind of healing processes, et cetera. But the more in a perpetual stress state you are, the less of those healing things happen.”

Status: True.

Detail:

Your body quietly repairs tissues, fights minor damage, and stays in balance all the time. But long-term stress slows these natural healing processes a lot. Stress hormones get in the way of your immune system and tissue repair. That is why ongoing stress makes it so much harder for the body to recover well.

Sources:

McEwen, B. S. (2012). Brain on stress: how the social environment gets under the skin. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 109(supplement_2), 17180-17185.

https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.112125410

Yaribeygi, H., Panahi, Y., Sahraei, H., Johnston, T. P., & Sahebkar, A. (2017). The impact of stress on body function: A review. EXCLI journal, 16, 1057.

https://doi.org/10.17179/excli2017-480

Why it matters for men:

This backs the guest’s main point about the nervous system and why pushing through stress nonstop eventually wears the body down. It shows why men need to shift from denial and breakdown to actively handling stress and making time for recovery.

3. Chronic Stress Impairs the Body’s Healing Processes

What was said:

“Your body's always doing some kind of healing processes, et cetera. But the more in a perpetual stress state you are, the less of those healing things happen.”

Status: True.

Detail:

Sources:

McEwen, B. S. (2012). Brain on stress: how the social environment gets under the skin. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 109(supplement_2), 17180-17185.

https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.112125410

Yaribeygi, H., Panahi, Y., Sahraei, H., Johnston, T. P., & Sahebkar, A. (2017). The impact of stress on body function: A review. EXCLI journal, 16, 1057.

https://doi.org/10.17179/excli2017-480

Why it matters for men:

5. A Dysregulated Nervous System Affects Every System in the Body

What was said:

“How the nervous system gets dysregulated, how that affects every single system in the body. Acid reflux, heart palpitations, migraines, whatever. It's a nervous system. It controls everything.”

Status: True.

Detail:

The nervous system serves as the body's control center. It quietly manages nearly everything, from heart rate and digestion to breathing, immune response, and pain signals. Long-term stress locks it in fight-or-flight mode, which disrupts normal repair and balance. This often leads to issues like acid reflux, heart palpitations, migraines, headaches, and many other symptoms throughout the body. Science confirms these links are real and widespread.

Sources: McEwen, B. S. (2012). Brain on stress: how the social environment gets under the skin. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 109(supplement_2), 17180-17185.

https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1121254109

Yaribeygi, H., Panahi, Y., Sahraei, H., Johnston, T. P., & Sahebkar, A. (2017). The impact of stress on body function: A review. EXCLI journal, 16, 1057.

https://doi.org/10.17179/excli2017-480

Why it matters for men:

This supports Remy's explanation of why pushing through stress and top performance leads to breakdown in the end. It shows that the odd physical problems many driven men face often come from the same root cause. Learning easy ways to calm and reset the nervous system is one of the best tools for staying strong, tough, and in charge of your life.

6. Military Medicine Prioritizes Return to Duty

What was said:

“The military is a place where medicine changes. It's get me back to work, not make me better.”

Status: Largely True.

Detail:

In the military, medical care often aims to get service members back to duty as fast as possible. This "Return to Duty" focus differs from civilian medicine, which prioritizes the best long-term recovery. The military shines at saving lives in trauma situations. Yet for many injuries, the main goal is keeping operations ready rather than waiting for full healing.

Sources: Hauret, K. G., Jones, B. H., Bullock, S. H., Canham-Chervak, M., & Canada, S. (2010). Musculoskeletal injuries: description of an under-recognized injury problem among military personnel. American journal of preventive medicine, 38(1), S61-S70.

https://doi.org/10.1016/j.amepre.2009.10.021

Molloy, J. M., Pendergrass, T. L., Lee, I. E., Chervak, M. C., Hauret, K. G., & Rhon, D. I. (2020). Musculoskeletal injuries and United States Army readiness part I: overview of injuries and their strategic impact. Military medicine, 185(9-10), e1461-e1471.

https://doi.org/10.1093/milmed/usaa027

Why it matters for men:

This backs the host’s view of military culture. It explains why many men, especially veterans, feel their injuries get "patched up" instead of fully treated. The talk about redefining masculinity and preparing for disability matters a lot. That is because the system focuses on performance and readiness, not long-term personal wellness.

Citations/Further Reading

Beard, J. R., Officer, A., De Carvalho, I. A., Sadana, R., Pot, A. M., Michel, J., Lloyd-Sherlock, P., Epping-Jordan, J. E., Peeters, G. M. E. E., Mahanani, W. R., Thiyagarajan, J. A., & Chatterji, S. (2015). The World report on ageing and health: a policy framework for healthy ageing. The Lancet, 387(10033), 2145–2154.

https://doi.org/10.1016/s0140-6736(15)00516-4

https://doi.org/10.1007/s11414-021-09778-w

Chatterji, S., Byles, J., Cutler, D., Seeman, T., & Verdes, E. (2014). Health, functioning, and disability in older adults—present status and future implications. The Lancet, 385(9967), 563–575.

https://doi.org/10.1016/s0140-6736(14)61462-8

Congressional Budget Office. (2023). Income of Working-Age veterans receiving disability compensation [Report].

https://www.cbo.gov/system/files/2023-12/59380-Veterans.pdf

https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1542-4774.2011.01015.x

Filippin, A., & Crosetto, P. (2016). A reconsideration of gender differences in risk attitudes. Management Science, 62(11), 3138-3160.

https://doi.org/10.1287/mnsc.2015.2294

Hauret, K. G., Jones, B. H., Bullock, S. H., Canham-Chervak, M., & Canada, S. (2010). Musculoskeletal injuries: description of an under-recognized injury problem among military personnel. American journal of preventive medicine, 38(1), S61-S70.

https://doi.org/10.1016/j.amepre.2009.10.021

https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.295.9.1023

McEwen, B. S. (2012). Brain on stress: how the social environment gets under the skin. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 109(supplement_2), 17180-17185.

https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.112125410

https://doi.org/10.1093/milmed/usaa027

U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. (2024). Annual benefits report. In VETERANS BENEFITS ADMINISTRATION (pp. 2–6).

https://www.benefits.va.gov/REPORTS/abr/docs/2024-abr.pdf

U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. (2025). EMPLOYMENT SITUATION OF VETERANS — 2024. In U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics.

https://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/vet.pdf?

Vespa, J., & Carter, C. (2024). Trends in Veteran Disability Status and Service-Connected Disability: 2008–2022. American Community Survey Reports.

https://www2.census.gov/library/publications/2024/demo/acs-58.pdf

Yaribeygi, H., Panahi, Y., Sahraei, H., Johnston, T. P., & Sahebkar, A. (2017). The impact of stress on body function: A review. EXCLI journal, 16, 1057.

https://doi.org/10.17179/excli2017-480

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