The American Masculinity Podcast is hosted by Timothy Wienecke — licensed psychotherapist, Air Force veteran, and award-winning men's advocate. Real conversations about masculinity, mental health, trauma, fatherhood, leadership, and growth. Each episode offers expert insight and practical tools to help men show up differently — as partners, fathers, friends, and leaders. No yelling. No clichés. Just grounded, thoughtful masculinity for a changing world.
Episode Summary
Betrayal cuts deeper than most people realize. It's not just about broken promises - it's about losing trust, identity, and safety all at once. Dr. Debi Silber has spent decades studying betrayal trauma, surveying more than 100,000 people, and building a framework for healing she calls Post-Betrayal Transformation.
In this conversation, Tim and Dr. Debi explore:
- Why betrayal feels different than other traumas
- The symptoms of Post-Betrayal Syndrome™
- The five stages of healing from betrayal
- How men experience betrayal differently, and why shame often keeps them silent
- What recovery looks like for both the betrayed and the betrayer
Betrayal is devastating - but it can also be the catalyst for transformation if we learn how to move through it.
About Dr. Debi Silber
Dr. Debi Silber is the founder and CEO of The PBT® (Post-Betrayal Transformation®) Institute, where she helps people heal physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually after betrayal: https://thepbtinstitute.com
A holistic psychologist, two-time TEDx speaker, and bestselling author, her PhD research identified how betrayal creates a distinct form of trauma - and how recovery requires more than just time. Watch her TEDx Talk
here: https://www.ted.com/talks/debi_silber_do_you_have_post_betrayal_syndrome
Through her books - including Trust Again (https://thepbtinstitute.com/trust-again/), From Hardened to Healed (https://thepbtinstitute.com/from-hardened-to-healed/), and The Unshakable Woman (https://thepbtinstitute.com/the-unshakable-woman/) - and her signature five-stage framework, she has guided tens of thousands toward what she calls Post-Betrayal Transformation®. Over 100,000 people have taken the Post-Betrayal Syndrome™
Quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/quiz
She is also the creator of National Forgiveness Day, recognized annually on September 1, to highlight the healing power of releasing pain while clarifying the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation:
https://nationaldaycalendar.com/national-forgiveness-day-september-1/
To learn more, explore resources, or connect with a certified coach, visit The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com
Chapters
00:00 - Defining Betrayal
06:30 - The Three Discoveries
11:30 - Post-Betrayal Syndrome Stats
17:00 - Five Stages of Healing
32:00 - Gender & Cultural Differences
37:30 - Forgiveness & Accountability
45:00 - Masculinity, Femininity & Empathy
52:00 - Dr. Debi's Story & Closing
Fact-Check
Claim: Betrayal is a distinct type of trauma.Verdict: ✅ Supported.Freyd, J. J. (1996). Betrayal trauma: The logic of forgetting childhood abuse. Harvard University Press. Link
Claim: Betrayal produces unique symptom profiles.Verdict: ✅ Supported.Freyd, J. J., DePrince, A. P., & Zurbriggen, E. L. (2002). Journal of Trauma & Dissociation, 3(1), 5-15. https://doi.org/10.1300/J229v03n01_02
Claim: "Time doesn't heal betrayal."Verdict: ⚠️ Partly supported.
- Kessler, R. C., et al. (1995). Archives of General Psychiatry, 52(12), 1048-1060. https://doi.org/10.1001/archpsyc.1995.03950240066012
- Bonanno, G. A., et al. (2002). Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 83(5), 1150-1164. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.83.5.1150
Claim: Institutional betrayal worsens trauma.Verdict: ✅ Supported.
- Smith, C. P., & Freyd, J. J. (2013). Journal of Traumatic Stress, 26(1), 119-124. https://doi.org/10.1002/jts.21778
- Litz, B. T., et al. (2009). Clinical Psychology Review, 29(8), 695-706. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2009.07.003
Claim: Men are more distressed by sexual infidelity; women by emotional infidelity.Verdict: ⚠️ Mixed but credible with nuance.
- Buss, D. M., et al. (1992). Psychological Science, 3(4), 251-255. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.1992.tb00038.x
- Sagarin, B. J., et al. (2003). Evolution and Human Behavior, 24(1), 17-21. https://doi.org/10.1016/S1090-5138(02)00106-2
- Carpenter, C. J. (2012). Personality and Social Psychology Review, 16(2), 79-96. https://doi.org/10.1177/1088868311418443
Claim: Post-Betrayal Transformation® (five stages) is an evidence-based model.Verdict: ⚠️ Proprietary framework.Tedeschi, R. G., & Calhoun, L. G. (1996). Journal of Traumatic Stress, 9(3), 455-471. https://doi.org/10.1002/jts.2490090305
Claim: Post-Betrayal Syndrome™ stats represent the population.Verdict: ⚠️ Clarify.Stats come from Dr. Silber's self-report online survey (>100,000 respondents). PBT Institute Quiz
Claim: Men under-utilize therapy due to shame.Verdict: ✅ Supported.
- Addis, M. E., & Mahalik, J. R. (2003). American Psychologist, 58(1), 5-14. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.58.1.5
- Parent, M. C., et al. (2018). Journal of Counseling Psychology, 65(6), 751-764. https://doi.org/10.1037/cou0000306
Claim: The US is the most individualistic culture.Verdict: ✅ Supported.
- Hofstede Insights. (2024). Country comparison: Individualism. https://www.hofstede-insights.com/country-comparison/
- Triandis, H. C. (1995). Individualism and collectivism. Boulder, CO: Westview Press.
Claim: National Forgiveness Day is September 1.Verdict: ⚠️ Needs context.National Day Calendar lists Sept 1 as National Forgiveness Day (linked to Dr. Silber's initiative). Other forgiveness days exist (July 7, Oct 7).National Day Calendar - Forgiveness Day
✅ No major factual corrections required.
⚠️ Clarifications:
- Present PBT stats as survey findings, not general population.
- Frame the five stages as Dr. Debi's framework, linked to post-traumatic growth research.
- Note that Sept 1 Forgiveness Day is one of several observances.
Closing Note
If this episode resonated with you or someone you love, explore resources at The PBT Institute. And if you found value here, share it with a friend who needs it - because betrayal may break us, but it doesn't have to define us.