The American Masculinity Podcast is hosted by Timothy Wienecke — licensed psychotherapist, Air Force veteran, and award-winning men's advocate. Real conversations about masculinity, mental health, trauma, fatherhood, leadership, and growth. Each episode offers expert insight and practical tools to help men show up differently — as partners, fathers, friends, and leaders. No yelling. No clichés. Just grounded, thoughtful masculinity for a changing world.

Most men think grit means suffering in silence — but they’re dead wrong. In this conversation, in the first of two episodes on Grit, Tim Wienecke sits down with Alan Lazaros, Co-Host of Next Level University and Founder/CEO of a global coaching platform, to redefine what grit really means.

From growing up without a father to surviving a near-fatal car crash, Alan shares how setbacks, sadness, and self-reflection forge genuine strength. Together, they explore why mentorship can buffer father absence, how emotions signal growth, and why grit is a skill you can build — not a trait you’re born with.

This episode blends personal stories, clinical insights, and hard truths about masculinity to help men stop grinding harder and start growing stronger.

📖 Chapters & Key Takeaways

00:00 – Defining Grit vs. Grind Why grit is the willingness to fail — not endless grinding.

02:15 – Father Absence & Mentorship When dads aren’t present, a team of male mentors can help fill the gap. (Harper & McLanahan, 2020)

05:30 – Growth & the “Santa Claus Isn’t Real” Analogy Why sadness signals growth — each hard truth is another layer of maturity. (APA, 2022)

09:30 – Grit as a Learned Skill Discipline and grit aren’t innate — they’re built through practice. (Duckworth & Quinn, 2009)

16:00 – The Car Crash That Changed Everything Alan’s near-fatal accident at 26 pushed him toward personal development and service.

22:00 – Fitness as the Best Metaphor for Life Why “you vs. you” training reveals the truth about grit.

29:00 – Willpower & the Brain How the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (DLPFC) strengthens through repeated self-control. (Heatherton & Wagner, 2011)

37:00 – Men Bond Side-by-Side Why male friendships are built through activity more than conversation. (Wright, 1982)

45:00 – Why So Few Men Go to Therapy Men are about half as likely as women to seek therapy. (CDC, 2023)

52:00 – The Written Goals Myth The “3% write goals” stat is a self-help legend, not science. (Harvard Business Review, 2018)

59:00 – Takeaways & Next Steps Grit is less about suffering alone and more about choosing standards, reflection, and community.

About the Guest — Alan Lazaros

Alan Lazaros is the CEO, Founder, and Co-Host of Next Level University, a Top-100 global podcast with over 2,100 episodes and more than 1 million listens across 180+ countries. After losing his father at age 2 and later experiencing a near-fatal car crash at 26, Alan committed himself to personal development and a mission to help others raise their standards and live with purpose. With over 10,000 hours of coaching, training, and podcasting, he brings a “heart-driven but no BS” approach to success and fulfillment.

Learn more about Alan and Next Level University here:

• Next Level University: https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/

 Alan Lazaros on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

Fact-Checked Highlights

✅ Father absence creates risks, but engaged mentors can buffer the gap (East, 2006).

 ✅ Sadness often signals growth during personal development — discomfort accompanies learning (APA, 2022).

 ✅ Grit is malleable and can be learned through deliberate practice, not just innate talent (Duckworth & Quinn, 2009). 

✅ Repeated self-control strengthens the prefrontal cortex; willpower “muscle” is a metaphor for top-down regulation (Heatherton & Wagner, 2011). 

✅ Men seek therapy about half as often as women; in 2019, 13.4% of men vs. 24.7% of women received treatment (CDC, 2020). 

✅ The “3% written goals” statistic is a myth — no credible Harvard/Yale study exists (Harvard Business Review, 2018). 

✅ Men often bond side-by-side rather than face-to-face, a finding consistent in friendship research (Wright, 1982).

📚 APA References

• East, L. (2006). Father absence and adolescent development: A review of the literature. Community Health, University of Western Sydney. Retrieved from: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17101621/
• American Psychological Association. (2022). Personal growth and development. Retrieved from: https://www.apa.org/topics/mental-health/personal-growth
• Duckworth, A. L., & Quinn, P. D. (2009). Development and validation of the Short Grit Scale (Grit–S). Journal of Personality Assessment, 91(2), 166–174. https://doi.org/10.1080/00223890802634290
• Heatherton, T. F., & Wagner, D. D. (2011). Cognitive neuroscience of self-regulation failure. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 15(3), 132–139. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2010.12.005
• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2020). Mental health treatment among adults: United States, 2019 (NCHS Data Brief No. 380). Retrieved from: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db380.htm
• Harvard Business Review. (2018). The truth about the Harvard written goal study. Retrieved from: https://hbr.org/2018/04/the-truth-about-the-harvard-written-goal-study
• Wright, P. H. (1982). Men’s friendships, women’s friendships, and the alleged inferiority of the latter. Sex Roles, 8(1), 1–20. https://doi.org/10.1007/BF00287978